Birthday Offers

I got an email from my sister this morning regarding a birthday “special offer” she had received from Old Navy for her birthday today. It stated in bold, hot pink bubbly letters, “It’s your BIRTHDAY!!!! Come in during the month of June and get $15 off your purchase of $50 or more!….whenyouuseyouroldnavycard…GO BIRTHDAY SHOPPING!”.

Well played Old Navy. Can’t be giving anything away for free now, you know you’ll make triple that $15 back in interest and late pmt fees. Happy birthday.

I haven’t gotten this one yet, but Lisa’s birthday is today and mine’s the 13th, so I am sure it’s coming to me, regardless of the fact that my Old Navy card has been paid off and closed for several years now. These kind of double edged sword offers crack me up. And now that June is here they have started rolling in.

However, due to my past year of signing up for mailing lists, I have reaped (not raped) the following actual bonuses, no store credit card slavery required:

$10 off any purchase from Torrid (I am fat)
Free deluxe sample size Philosophy birthday cake bodywash from Sephora (I stink)
$5 off any purchase at Famous Footwear (we like you…JUST a little bit.)
1 Free Appetizer at Buca Di Beppo (get fatter)
1 free breadsticks at Pizza Hut (Fatter STILL!)
$10 off a $30 purchase at Worldmarket (this bitch can’t leave our store for less than $30, watch)
20% off one purchase at Scrapbooks Etc (I’m approaching middle age for sure now)
1 Free eyebrow shaping at Ulta’s Brow Bar ((whatever that is) Tame your face, you look like a cavewoman)

No word on if I plan to use any of them, except the bodywash one, because hey, free bodywash! Either way, it’s nice to know that they are there if I am appetizer-hungry. Or if my brows join together like Bono and homeless people.

Happy birthday Lisa!!

May you get all the Crunch'N'Munch and cool hats you desire to provied you with happiness for the coming year!



2 responses

  1. Whew, Moe. I am laughing pretty hard right now! You kind of nailed it on all of those offers, I think. (And the way you put “fatter” and “fatter STILL!” reminded me of Cap’n Carl making Pee-Wee smoke and breathe deeper…”deeper STILL!”)

    I don’t know what the Brow Bar is, either. And frankly, I am too emotionally fragile to ask. I’ll just Let the Mystery Be. And my eyebrows. I will let them be, too.

    We were skinny in ’97. Holy shit. Those were the best gifts, though!

  2. Happy birthday Lisa!! I am not sure why things come out of the woodwork for birthdays. And because I can’t resist a deal I find myself thinking about using these discounts for things I don’t even need. I mean, a bargain is a bargain.

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